February
by Irrevocably
Summary: FEB PROMPT Y'ALL. She hadn't seen him in months. Caitlin was hoping he'd wrap his arms around her in a loving exchange. His hands tightened around her neck were far from what she'd expected.


FINALLY I've completed another monthly Snowbert prompt. This one was suggested by the lovely radpineapple; Caitlin is alone on Valentine's Day. Julian comes back, but she's angry at him for not hearing from him. It turns out, something bad had happened to him…

Enjoy my crazy 16 pages of 3am fueled writing!

It was 4:30am in Central City. Every sane person was sound asleep, blissfully dreaming about flowers and intimate encounters as they waited to wake up on the most romantic day of the year.

Everyone except Caitlin Snow.

"Oh god," Caitlin sobbed as she held up a picture of her and Ronnie, smiling at the camera whilst around them at the festival, people wooshed by.

She sat on the floor of her room, staring at her stupidly in love face and feeling… sorry for herself. Each item she pulled out of her special shoe box from under her bed just made her cry more. Any other day she would feel bittersweet over all the sentiments of her life, but today she just felt the bitterness. And the hurt.

When she pulled out a napkin with a simple logo that read 'Choppers Steakhouse', Caitlin choked up even more. It was from her first technical date with Julian, after the events of earth 2 took place, when they'd gone and eaten prime rib down the street and laughed all night.

God, it had been months since she'd seen him. She missed him, deeply. It had taken a while to realise, but Caitlin did truly want him in her life. Obviously she'd been hesitant when Julian expressed his feelings a lot more noticeably than she had been ready for. After two failed attempts at relationships in the past 2 years prior, Caitlin wasn't sure she could put all her trust into Julian again.

That wasn't fair though, dragging problems and insecurities from the past to the present. Caitlin knew that now, she was ready. She was ready for Julian. So she'd messaged him, back in December, had sent him a few emails, called him a couple time to no answer. He'd essentially ghosted her, and Caitlin was pissed about it.

She could understand that he was mad, that's fine, whatever, but it made her question what the whole relationship was to him. Did he mean all the sweet, heartfelt things that he'd said to her last year? Did he really feel so deeply about her if he couldn't even text back and tell her a polite no thank you?

And looking at a napkin that represented the start of it all just made her sad to her stomach. She missed him still, she felt things about him still that she didn't want to admit, and she longed for his chicken roast.

I mean, the man cooks a mean chicken roast.

Caitlin pulled out another item, letting the cool felt of a work badge lanyard run over her fingers and burn into her skin.

" _You know you can stay here? Just a little while longer?" Caitlin begged, trailing her hands over his bare chest and staring up at him._

 _Julian groaned, "I could kill work for making me leave you at 7 in the morning."_

" _You don't have to go." Caitlin kissed his chest, pulling herself in closer to his naked body. "We can stay here. Like this." She whispered, feeling him tense up slightly._

" _That's it. I'm quitting." Julian stated as he flipped her onto her back and kissed her neck._

 _Caitlin laughed, his stubble tickling her as she held him tight. "Don't quit."_

" _I'll take an annual leave day," Julian captured her lips with his, engulfing her in a toe curling kiss, "just so we can shag."_

" _Shag?" Caitlin laughed again, pulling away momentarily, "God, how British are you?"_

" _Just British enough for you to think I'm sexy." Julian then gave her a dazzling smile, wiggling his eyebrows as he did._

" _Oh is that right?" Caitlin giggled, pulling him in to kiss her again._

" _Mmhmm," Julian mumbled against her lips, unable to let go._

 _That is, until his phone rang 3 times in a row._

" _Who could that possibly be?" Julian rolled off of her, mad he was being so rudely interrupted so early in the morning. "Oh god, it's Captain Singh."_

 _Caitlin fluffed up her hair, sitting up and acting like it was no big deal she'd been left high and dry. "Well answer it. It's probably important."_

 _She watched as Julian answered the phone, proceeded to get yelled at and told to come in early._

 _He hung up the phone, groaning in pain. "I am so terribly sorry. I have to go-"_

 _Caitlin pounced on him, kissing him one last time for good measure. "We can continue this later."_

" _Tonight?" Julian asked hopefully._

 _She gave him a mischievous smile. "I was thinking more like at lunch."_

 _He raised his eyebrows, leaning in to kiss her again. "Brunch?"_

" _Now you're talking." Caitlin laughed, kissing him again as he tried to lean away from her._

" _I've really got to go and get ready." Julian said lowly, brushing her loose hair behind her ear. He swung his legs out over the bed and searched for his pants on the floor._

" _You know, it's not too late to take that personal leave day." Caitlin teased, draping herself over his shoulders as she leaned against his back, tilting her head to kiss behind his ear._

" _Don't tempt me." Julian moaned, turning his head to meet her lips. He pulled away suddenly, shaking his head. "Oh no, you've tempted me. You know you're very good at that."_

 _Caitlin laughed, sitting back on the bed and resisting the urge to contact him at all. "Thanks for last night." She replied simply._

 _Julian buttoned up his shirt, turning back to look at her. "It was a rather eventful night."_

" _Mmm." She agreed, watching him slip on his wrinkled suit jacket and still look devilishly handsome._

" _I should thank you." Julian looked around the room, leaning down as he spotted his work ID badge hanging from a black lanyard off of the heater. He put it on and then made his way back to Caitlin, cupping her face and running his hand through her hair. "You're really something else Dr Snow."_

" _You're really something else Mr British Man." Caitlin teased as she leant up and kissed him, hot and heavy style._

 _Julian pulled away slightly. "I'll call you soon. Maybe two minutes from now."_

 _Caitlin grinned, grabbing onto his lanyard and taking it off him, sliding it over her own neck. "Ha, can't go anywhere without this."_

 _Julian unclipped the ID badge from the lanyard. "Ha." He simply said._

 _Caitlin scrunched up her face, "Hey I-"_

 _Julian kissed her, a small peck, just enough to make her want more, as he stepped away. "I'll be thinking about you."_

 _Caitlin watched him leave, smiling sadly as he stepped out of view. "I'll see you for brunch." She called._

" _Brunch," She heard Julian snort. "That's what we'll be doing."_

Caitlin pushed the lanyard back into the box and slid it it under the bed. She wiped away at her tears, getting up and storming over to her wardrobe. "I'll show him." She muttered as she began throwing out items onto her bed. "I won't be forgotten so easily."

Midway through packing her suitcase, she heard a knock on her front door.

"What the…?" Caitlin trailed off, checking her phone for the time. It was before 5, who would even be up and knocking at this time of day?

She walked past the kitchen, grabbing a knife for good measure out of the block as she headed for the door. She knew it was unreasonable to do it as Killer Frost would likely come to the rescue, but if she'd learned anything in life it was not to rely on anyone.

Slowly Caitlin got on the tip of her toes to check through the peephole. What she saw just didn't make any sense.

"Julian?" She breathed as she opened the door and dropped the knife. It only took a second for all her emotions to contort with each other, until one was clearer than most.

Recognition. Happiness. Confusion. Hope. Anger.

She was angry at Julian, she was sure about it in that initial second.

But then he stepped forward, his hands extended to latch around her neck and strangle her.

"Julian?" Caitlin screeched, fear taking over now as she blacked out and her fingertips turned frosty.

Caitlin felt a wave come over her, colour coming back to her vision as she looked around. She was in STAR Labs again.

The familiar cold that lingered after Killer Frost gave back control to Caitlin was fading, letting her know she'd been in danger.

It didn't take long for her to remember that Julian had attempted to kill her. None of it made sense to her though.

"How's your neck?" Iris asked, offering Caitlin the seat next to her.

Caitlin brought a hand up to her neck, checking around for any damage. "I think Frost took care of the healing already."

"What happened this morning? All Frost said was that she woke up to Julian strangling you." Cisco raised his eyebrows. "I knew the dude was high strung but I didn't think it was that bad."

"Whose Julian?" Ralph asked, walking into the cortex with a tray of coffee for everyone.

With that question, all Caitlin could do was get teary again.

"It's a long story." Barry replied, noticing her pain as Iris put a hand on her back.

"The working theory is that he's been brainwashed or he's had a complete mental breakdown." Harry informed her. "I attempted a psychiatric evaluation but he didn't care to respond to me."

"Is he in the pipeline?" Caitlin asked.

Harry nodded. "You need to run some tests."

"Is this related to Alchemy at all?" Iris questioned, glancing around the room.

" _Doctor_ Alchemy." Cisco corrected.

Ralph scrunched up his face, "Whose Doctor Alchemy?"

"Theoretically, no." Harry grabbed a coffee from Ralph, ignoring him. "Savitar was erased from existence. The dual persona should have died with him."

Caitlin tentatively pressed a button on the keyboard, bringing up live footage of the pipeline. She focused in on cell 4, where Julian was locked up, pounding on the glass and shouting threats.

It almost broke her to see him like this. The fact that he'd tried to physically hurt her made Caitlin want to curl into a ball and shrink down to the size of nothing.

But she didn't have time to break down now. Not anymore. She had to save Julian.

The psychiatric evaluation explained nothing. Yes he was showing signs of violent tendencies, but the brain scans couldn't explain anything except an extreme spike in adrenaline. Whilst yes, it explained his anger, there was no sign of why.

She'd given him a sedative, watching him now in the pipeline as he stared back at her.

"You have a very cold face." Julian stated.

Caitlin bit down on her lips, keeping her emotions in check. "Do you remember me?"

"Of course I do." Julian turned his nose up at her. "You tried to kill me as Killer Frost."

"Is that why you attacked me?" Caitlin asked.

"I attacked you because you're a horrible human being." Julian said as if it was obvious.

Caitlin sighed, "Did you get any of my messages the last few months?"

Julian squinted at her, "I haven't had a phone."

"How have you not had a phone for 3 months?"

"I've never had a phone." Julian looked confused, the way four year olds get when they are fed up with the conversation.

Caitlin studied him. There was something off, it wasn't just the spiked anger. "Do you know your name?"

Julian didn't reply. He just sat down on the floor of the cell and shrugged.

Caitlin decided to ask again. "Do you… do you remember _me_?"

No reply.

"Do you remember Choppers Steakhouse? Do you remember drinks at the trashy bar down the street? Do you remember when you told me you loved me?" Caitlin was almost begging at this point, scared to think that he had erased her from his memories.

"Love _you_?" Julian responded as if it were a joke now.

She wish she hadn't of asked.

"He's showing signs of memory loss." Caitlin breezed through the cortex, going for the small medical lab off to the right. "It's like his mind has been wiped clear by the blinding rage he's experiencing."

"He probably just hasn't gotten laid in a while." Ralph started nudging Cisco with his elbow, trying to make him laugh. "Oh come on it was funny!"

"His behaviors are resembling a child's, which makes sense considering he's got no memories to shape him into who he was." Caitlin continued, mostly telling herself this to remind her there's something wrong, and it's not her fault.

"He doesn't remember anything?" Barry sounded disbelieving, if not a little scared at hearing this. "Can't we like, jolt his memory if we talked to him?"

Caitlin kept her stony expression plastered to her face. "I'm not sure it's going to work like that."

"Well can we try?" Barry pleaded.

Caitlin opened a cabinet, looking for a certain bottle. She thought about how her intimate connection with Julian was somehow erased, so how the hell was Barry supposed to help? "You can try. It won't work though."

"Caitlin don't be like that." Cisco reached out for her, laying a hand on her shoulder.

"Like _what_ Cisco?" Caitlin whipped around, throwing his hand off her. "I'm being realistic."

Cisco looked somewhat surprised but not offended. "He'll be okay." He reassured.

Caitlin blinked at him, reverting her rage back into nothing. "I need to get back to work."

Julian, now drugged up and passed out was lying unconscious in the med lab.

It was 11pm, and Caitlin had no idea what to do now. She simply sat beside him and watched his being, noticing how his peaceful expression reminded her of when he'd stayed over her house and mumbled in his sleep.

She ran a hand through his hair on instinct, his blonde locks curling around her fingers.

It baffled her to realise it had been nearly a year since they'd began somewhat of a relationship. All her memories… they were still so vivid in her mind. She could remember every wrinkle on Julian's face as he laughed at her stories, every small compliment he gave her, every light brush of his hands against hers on the desk at STAR Labs. It was all still there at the forefront of her mind, as if she was scared to archive it for it to be forgotten.

 _Caitlin sat in the cortex, tuning herself out to whatever argument HR and Cisco were having. She simply stared at them, wondering why they both couldn't just understand that different people had different ways. 'Different strokes for different folks' and all that._

 _And then Julian's pinky slipped in between hers, jolting her out of her daydream as she realised how warm his hand was against her. She glanced over at him to see he was smiling at her, trying his best not to raise any suspicion of Cisco and HR._

" _That's it!" Cisco exclaimed, seemingly unrelated to Caitlin and Julian. He pointed a steady finger at HR, "You're crazy. You're certifiably insane. You're basically Taylor Swift at this point."_

 _HR gasped dramatically, a hand fluttering to his chest in mock hurt. "How dare you sir."_

 _Caitlin pulled her hand away from Julian's as Cisco and HR walked around them to leave the Cortex._

" _Hey," Julian cocked his head at her as she avoiding looking at him. "Are you alright?"_

 _Caitlin focused her gaze on the screen in front of her, looking at whatever work she'd been doing before. "I don't want to be that girl that gets upset about you not calling her, but we had plans this morning."_

" _I told you work had me held up." Julian stated, looking confused._

" _I understand." Caitlin sighed. "I was just looking forward to seeing you earlier today."_

" _I can make up for it now, do you want to go get a drink?" Julian stood up behind her and began rubbing her shoulders._

 _The slow movements made her relax not only her body, but her filter. "I really just want you."_

 _Julian chuckled as Caitlin clearly tensed up again after saying this._

" _What I mean to say is-"_

" _Well, Dr Caitlin Snow," Julian grinned, holding back his laughter as he spun her chair around to him, "I didn't realise how dirty your mind was."_

" _I'm not…" Caitlin attempted to interject, trailing off when she saw how Julian was looking at her. "You're thinking the same thing right now, aren't you?"_

 _Julian feigned innocence, "I would never." He placed his hands on either side of the armrest, leaning down to kiss Caitlin, "So," He said between kisses, "Your place or mine tonight?"_

 _Caitlin brought her hands up to his face, holding him close as she whispered, "Right here."_

 _Julian frowned, suddenly shocked by the idea. "What, why?"_

 _Caitlin stood up, her hands moving to his collar, "You think I can wait a 9 minute drive?"_

" _We work here." Julian told her as if she'd forgotten._

" _I know," She giggled, undoing his shirt slowly. "C'mon, haven't you envisioned having sex with me in a place other than our beds… and that one time on the desk?"_

" _Is this just sex for you?" Julian blurted out, a hurt expression across his face._

 _Caitlin took a step back, feeling attacked suddenly. "Of course not."_

" _Because it's not for me." Julian continued, somewhat worked up now._

" _Julian," She reached out for him, but he took a step away._

" _I'll see you tomorrow."_

Caitlin awoke the next morning abruptly, her head jolting up as her eyes blinked rapidly. Her neck was aching, as she realised she'd fallen asleep still in the swirly chair, with her head on Julian's stomach.

Julian's hand was laid over hers, confusing her. Did he know it was her?

"Julian?" She tentatively asked, despite knowing he was still knocked out from the sedative she'd given him.

She was wrong though, as something awoke within him as she spoke to him. His eyes snapped open, focusing in on her.

"Julian?" Caitlin asked again, less hopeful now as she saw his eyes narrow. "Julian?"

Caitlin barely knew what was happening in front of her as Julian hands were on her neck again and she was laying back on the floor, a pain in her back from being slammed down.

"Ju-" She choked, reaching her hand out for something.

His eyes were almost red with rage as her fingertips began to feel a little frosty. That was the last thing she remembered before everything went black again.

" _You don't get to leave." Caitlin announced as she walked into his place and took off her coat._

" _I know." Julian said, "It was pretty awful of me to do. I was going to call you now actually."_

" _Oh." Caitlin blinked at him, unsure of what to do with all her anger now._

" _I understand if you aren't ready to you know… think about feelings and all the mushy stuff but… I have and I want to know I'm not wasting my time."_

" _Julian-"_

" _I like you Caitlin." Julian rushed out, as if saying it was going to make her run like a deer in headlights. "A lot. And I can understand if you aren't at the 'alot' part but… I need to know. I need to know there's a possibility."_

 _Caitlin breathed in. After all her pain with Ronnie and Hunter, she hadn't had the courage to even think about her feelings for Julian on her own. "It's scary… being in love."_

" _I know." Julian sympathised._

" _I don't think you do." Caitlin walked over to his couch and sat down, "My husband died two years ago."_

 _The distance in her voice from what she was saying was blinding to Julian. All he could hear was the pain she was forcing down and attempting to ignore._

 _Julian sat down next to her, "Cait-"_

" _And then the guy I thought I could move on with ended up being a murderer. Every time I get close to being whole again, I get pushed back. Waaaaaayyyy back." Caitlin placed a hand on his cheek, brushing her thumb over it. "And now I've met you."_

 _Julian smiled softly, placing his hand on her thigh._

" _It's fun with you. I feel safe. But safe is dangerous for me. Especially now, with Killer Frost looming." Caitlin continued, "Fun is all I can think about right now. If I even consider myself anything more than that it'll get ripped away."_

" _Okay." Julian breathed out, nodding. "I can do fun. Do you like the opera?"_

 _Caitlin slowly grinned, dropping her hand, "The opera?"_

" _The opera." He nodded, a cheeky grin coming across his face._

" _I haven't been before," Caitlin pursed her lips together, "but if it's with you I'd like to go."_

" _Interesting..." Julian trailed off, leaning in and softly kissing her. "Do you want to get dinner now? I'm rather peckish."_

 _Caitlin felt a soft smile across her face. "Sure."_

"Oh god, Caitlin!"

Her head was pounding as Killer Frost got knocked out of power, literally. In all the commotion of Julian trying to strangle her, Cisco and Harry had rushed in, tackling Julian off of her, causing both Julian and Caitlin to hit their heads on different surfaces.

Momentarily, Caitlin was worried as she came back into reality about Killer Frost. She gathered she'd been hit on the head by the bed pole behind her, but she didn't really have much more time to think about that as she realised she was gasping for air. A hand fluttered to her throat as she felt pain on her vocal chords.

"Get off me!" Julian thrashed around Cisco and Harry, trying to throw them off. "I have to help her!"

It seemed Killer Frost hadn't been in power that long to have healed her throat. Caitlin struggled to open a cabinet and retrieve an oxygen mask, trying to put it on with her shaking hands.

"Hold him!" Cisco yelled at Harry as he made his way over to Caitlin to help her.

Between the likely concussion and the extreme pain on her throat, Caitlin was beginning to panic. She tentatively touched the back of her head as she struggled to breathe, "I can't... I can't-"

"It's okay." Cisco soothed with some stress as he attempted to hook her up to the machine. "It's okay, it's okay."

Caitlin took her hand away from the back of her head, noticing it was dripping blood. "Shit."

"It's okay." Cisco repeated, rushing around the room for something. "Thank god you decided to strangle her in a medical lab, ha ha."

Caitlin put the panicking aside to glare at Cisco momentarily.

"Do I apply pressure or get an ice pack?" Cisco asked.

"Pressure." Julian piped up, sounding pained and still struggling against Harry. "Get a clean cloth."

Caitlin looked over to Julian, seeing a familiar blue in his eyes.

He was back. She didn't know how he was, but she was sure.

Caitlin took off the mask slowly, unsure if she could believe this. "Julian?"

"What the hell happened?" Julian asked finally, seemingly yelling at Cisco and Harry. "What happened?"

She breathed in slowly, maintaining eye contact with him as Cisco gave her the cloth. She applied pressure to the wound herself, her eyes watering as Julian finally threw off Harry. Cisco tried to hold him back again but Caitlin stopped him, "He's back. It's okay."

"Oh god." Julian breathed as he sat down on the floor beside her, inspecting her neck.

Caitlin stared into his eyes, realising he was blinking a lot. "I think you have a concussion."

"Bloody hell Cait, your head is bleeding, screw my concussion." He took her hand away from her head and replaced it with his own. Julian looked at Cisco, reconsidering his statement, "I wouldn't mind an ice pack though mate… Seriously what happened, did I black out?"

"You definitely have a concussion." Caitlin stated.

"Hey," Cisco piped up, picking up something off the floor. It appeared to be a small metal chip. "What is this? Ew, it's bloody!"

Caitlin's eyes widened, "Julian, turn around."

"What?" He asked as she turned his head around immediately, noticing a small square sized chunk of skin missing.

"Oh shit." Cisco murmured as he inspected the chip. He then ran out of the med lab and off to his own lab.

"Oi mate where's my ice pack?!" Julian yelled. "And where are you going?"

"I'll get your damn ice pack." Harry muttered as he rubbed his arm. Seemingly Julian threw him off of him a little too hard.

Caitlin stood up, rushing to the desk drawers and rummaged around for sterilizer, a torch and a magnifying glass.

Harry threw the ice pack at Julian and went off to follow Cisco.

"What is going on?" Julian yelled again as he got irritated at the lack of communication.

Caitlin rushed over to him, dropping the items beside her as she sat beside him, "Sit still."

"But Cait your head-"

"Hush." She mumbled as she shined the light in the cut. Quickly she was able to identify a minuscule piece of metal in the cut. Somehow, the hit to his head had provided enough force to dislodge the chip from his neck.

Julian tilted his head forward, suddenly worried. "What is it?"

"I'm going to do an X-ray." Caitlin replied, clicking the light off and rushing over to get a pair of tweezers. "What's the last thing you remember?"

Julian frowned, looking around. "I don't know."

Caitlin sat down again and carefully picked the piece out, doing her best not to hurt Julian in the process. She stood up, nudging him up as well, "Think about it. God the concussion probably isn't helping this."

"I remember being in England." Julian suddenly looked afraid. "How did… what happened?"

"You…" Caitlin trailed off, placing the piece of metal on a tray nearby. "Look I'll explain after the X-ray."

"Is Killer Frost… is that problem solved?" Julian enquired after a pause in conversation.

Caitlin turned around, pushing him to a side room and putting a medical gown in his arms. "She's not a problem anymore. She helps a lot actually. Saved my ass the other night when you tried to kill me. Now change."

"What!" Julian yelled as Caitlin shut the door on him.

"I think you've been controlled by that chip that fell out of your neck." Caitlin told him, raising her voice so she could hear him through the wall.

"Bloody hell Cait," She heard him mutter. After a moment he opened the door again, standing in front of her in the medical gown. "Don't get me wrong I'm happy to see you but this is a lot."

Caitlin smiled softly, directing him to the X-ray machine. "Everything will be fine."

A while later Caitlin inspected his X-rays, sighing in relief to see no signs of any head trauma. "Thank god." She almost cried as she looked over at Julian sitting on the bed, watching her. "You're okay. You're really okay now. I mean I have to monitor you but you're okay."

Julian saw her teary face and felt horrible, "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." Caitlin rushed over to him, placing the ice pack back onto his head. "It wasn't you."

Julian glanced between her eyes, seeing the warm brown shining back at him with not a hint of blue. The same eyes he used to wake up to in the morning. But that was a long time ago, and he had to remind himself that she was the one to leave him.

"I tried to call you back in December." Caitlin avoided his gaze now, inspecting the bump on his head. "I tried to email you too. And text you. I was mad you didn't reply. Now I just feel awful."

"I was a bit held up, clearly." Julian awkwardly joked.

Caitlin smiled at him, acknowledging his joke before continuing, "I wanted to apologise. I made a mistake pushing you away last year. I know that now, and I'm sorry."

Julian took in a breath. Somehow he didn't know that this was all he'd been waiting to hear for almost a year. "It wasn't just fun?"

Caitlin easily remembered that conversation they'd had many moons ago, and she was so happy that he'd finally remembered something too. A memory that she too held dear to her heart. "Of course not. The way I feel, the way I know now what I wish I did back then…"

Julian remained silent, raising a hand up to rest on her cheek. As Caitlin leaned in, she realised it was now or never to say what she felt. "I love you Julian. I don't want to mess around anymore. I want you. God," Caitlin wrapped her hands around his neck, holding him close. "Please say I'm not too late."

Julian widened his eyes slightly. It really had been a big day for him already, and it was barely 9am. Hearing Caitlin speak right now was hard for him to believe. "I've always loved you Cait."

"And now?" Caitlin asked hopefully.

"Now?" For Julian it was a no brainer. It had always been her. "I'll love you the rest of my life."

Caitlin didn't hesitate to fully embrace Julian, almost knocking him back as she kissed him with all the passion she'd been holding onto the past few months. Julian quickly regained his balance, wrapping his arms around her waist as if she was an anchor to the earth.

"Can you stay with me tonight?"

Julian was thankful that his apartment he'd bought actually had his stuff in it, i.e. passport, phone, luggage, and keys. Somehow in all the rage he'd still remembered his old apartment and found his way back. But standing in the doorway, he realised how awfully cold it felt. Even if it was just for one night or a few, he didn't want to stay here.

Caitlin had placed a hand on his shoulder from behind. "I'm not going anywhere."

Now they lay in bed together, Julian's arms wrapped around her as she laid her head on his chest. Obviously they were tired from the day, tired from sorting everything out, and tired from helping him gain back his reality. They'd simply walked through the door, said a few things to each other and crawled into bed, curling into one another as they faded into slumber.

"I missed this." Julian breathed, kissing the top of her head.

"Feels natural, doesn't it?" Caitlin offered to him, tracing small circles on his side.

"Mmm." Julian agreed simply. "You know in all of the fuss going on today, I didn't bother to ask the date."

"It's the 15th." Caitlin replied. "Why, did you miss a hot date?" She joked.

"Yeah actually, I missed Valentine's Day with you." Julian ran a hand through her hair slowly.

"You know I think it's a garbage holiday." She reminded him, nudging her head up as his hands got caught in her hair.

"Me too. It's just nice to have place marks in the year, small significant dates that make all the smaller moments make sense." Julian began drifting off to sleep again. "Does that make sense?" He drearily asked.

Caitlin tilted her head up now, looking at him. Something about him being near sleep made him so much more vulnerable to her. "You know I love you."

Julian opened his eyes to look down at her momentarily. As he closed his eyes he smiled, a soft, exhausted, easy smile. "Yeah. I always did. You mumbled it in your sleep on the few nights we spent together."

"Oh." Caitlin felt surprised, "I didn't even know I talked in my sleep."

"You talk about bunnies." Julian's voice got softer.

"Bunnies?" Caitlin returned her head against Julian's chest, the rhythm of his heart easing her into her sleep.

Julian pulled her in tighter one last time, making sure he had his grip on reality, "and I love you too. Always. Night Cait."

 **A/N**

 **I hope y'all enjoyed, hopefully I'll update infected soon and get another prompt out into the world.**

 **Thanks for getting this far guys, I appreciate all the feedback and love I get from you all, always 3**


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